proffee pilled

A suffix attached to any topic to mean "fully converted to that viewpoint." "Espresso-pilled," "bike-pilled," "sleep-pilled." From "red-pilled" (The Matrix, 1999), generalized to any conversion. The word works because it compresses "I tried this, it changed me, I'm now proselytizing" into one syllable.

To be cortado pilled is to have fully converted to the cortado as your singular coffee identity — past the point of preference and into the territory of minor evangelism. You've stopped entertaining oat lattes. You've developed opinions about grind size. You look at a 16oz drink and feel mild contempt. Getting cortado pilled usually starts innocently — one great cup at a good café — and ends with you gently correcting people's coffee orders at brunch. It's not gatekeeping, you'll tell yourself. It's just that they'd enjoy it more.

Someone who has fully absorbed British-style no-nonsense pragmatism and authenticity as a core life philosophy — and now can't help applying it to everything. The proper-pilled person has zero patience for pretension, unnecessary complexity, or anything that isn't genuinely what it claims to be. They're the one insisting on a proper home-cooked meal over a trendy overpriced café, and calling out every hype product that doesn't actually deliver.